Wow… your words are absolutely beautiful… i can only hope to one day co-habitate the same city with you…
Tomorrow is our 10 year anniversary.
10 years since I stood still and watched the city buzz around me. Somewhere there are pictures of me, shopping bags in hand, wrapped in my black wool pea coat.
I went to the museum for the the first time that day. I’ve been back to the museum 8 times since- and look forward to the next trip.
Since that day, so very long ago- so much has changed.
In this very city I spent my last day with my father- and he spent the last of his life.
I spent uncomfortable moments of my honeymoon wrapped in the arms of the museum- and my love for the city outlasted my doomed marriage. In fact, I loved the city before I ever loved him.
I fell in love with a boy there- terrible timing. But somethings don’t lend them selves well to being planned.
I had a miscarriage that year. Being in the city was the only good thing that happened in those 12 months.
In the years since I decided this was the only place that has ever felt like home (even though I’ve never lived there), I’ve made friends and found lovers. I’ve explored tourist sites and local haunts alike.
I’ve been to parades.
I’ve eaten foods I’d never heard of before, and drank beers I only wish I could find here.
I’ve watched fireworks and rivers turn green.
I have spent what seems like a month’s worth of hours at Midway.
I’ve spent quite nights north of the city, watching movies with dear friends as well as beer soaked nights in crowded venues watching my favorite bands.
Tomorrow marks 10 years since I knew this was the only place I ever wanted to call home.
And in about 45 days, I get to do just that.
Everyone asks me “what’s there?” “why do you want to move?” “why not go back to where you grew up, or back to Denver?”
They never seems to understand that even though I have a lot of tangible reasons to move- the BIG reason is that it just fits.
Last May, I spent an evening exploring all alone- wandering the city streets looking for someplace I’d been once.
I found it- after a 4 mile walk.
But that whole time- that entire mini adventure, I was comfortable.
Me, the agoraphobic girl with the acute panic disorder- I was at peace, alone in the chaos.
10 years… 10 years I’ve been in love with this city.
I can’t wait for the day that I realize I’ve lived there longer then I haven’t. only 29 years to go…
Posted on Sunday, 13 May 2012
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